Yeah...
So, not too great not to have written stuff for basically two months, is it! This posting shall therefore be a fascinating thought splurge about the first thing to occur to me about what has been going on in the world since my last post:
It's not just the economy, stupid...
It is becoming increasingly apparent that many of the recent decisions the government has made are more about ideology than anything else. While we are being told time after time after time that cutting the deficit is the main aim, there are decisions being made that actually make little sense financially. One such contradiction was rather eloquently explained in an article by Polly Toynbee last week(1), and concerns the so called 'bonfire of the quangos' which was announced only a few days after Sir Phillip Green finished his report into government waste.
Green reported that increased centralisation of government spending and procurement would be the best way to save money. How do you best centralise government procurement and spending? Either within departments or (all together) in quangos.
So there's a bit of an inconsistency with the government toasting all these quangos when they are in fact very likely to save money. For the uninitiated, they tend to exist as a way of centralising functions across a service (e.g. education, health, policing) and that these central functions tend to be more economical than individual schools, hospitals or police forces doing things individually. They also tend to help set national or professional standards, and they tend to mean that something approaching 'best practice', or 'best value' is achieved nationally.
Scrapping Becta (the British Educational Communications and Technology Agency), who procure the best computers and programmes for schools as effectively and cheaply as possible,leaves the alternative now that "all headteachers will be on their own, thumbing through brochures, subjected to marketing calls from sales reps trying to bamboozle them with gizmos and super-new electronic teaching aids that may be the best or the worst. Even if teachers succeed in choosing the best, they will get the worst prices without mass purchasing"(1).
A frequent cry from Tories is 'let teachers teach' and 'cut red tape' - getting rid of quangos like Becta means less time for teachers to teach. It moves 'red tape' into the teachers' in tray, and asks teachers in each school to make decisions they may not have been trained for, rather than leaving these decisions in the hands of other professionals who can make a decision for schools nationally.
On top of this, reports have suggested that the cost of the current round of quango cuts will equal the savings they make, and that the same agencies we have now could run for 10 years before there is a financial benefit from getting rid of them (newsflash, if you sack people, they need redundancy pay, and you'll still have leases you are obligated to pay, and... etc).
So these cuts are not about reducing the deficit, or saving money, they are part of a small state agenda that the public are far less enthusiastic about than the government (who knew what the Tories stood for before the election, they never said). So what is the result of cutting quangos like Becta? Lots of people out of work, with less money to spend to help avoid a double dip recession (and we need to be spending, according the deputy of the Bank of England (3)), and who may eventually need state benefits since the chances of getting a job in the current economy are awful...
Call me naive, but aren't we better off with people in decent jobs so they can support their families? Aren't we better off with professionals in place to help drive best practice and best value? Aren't we better off when professionals like head teachers and doctors are supported by organisations that aim to make their lives easier? Aren't we better off with headteachers spending their time running schools and teaching children, rather than deciding whether the next lot of PCs are coming from Dell or not?
That's enough from me. This has been a bit of a heavy one, eh!
Onwards!
Levin
References: (1)
www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2010/oct/11/sir-philip-green-quango-waste
(2) www.guardianpublic.co.uk/quangos-cuts-savings (3) www.guardian.co.uk/business/2010/sep/28/spend-save-economy-bank-england-chief
Sunday 17 October 2010
Sunday 15 August 2010
Marketing tips...
I am a bona fide atheist. Nothing could make me interested in joining a church, or an organised religion. That's not to say that I don't have a set of beliefs, etc. It's just to say I don't believe in any kind of creator or a guiding hand. I try to be Alan McRational, and I like me some of that thing called 'evidence' - give me a randomised control trial over one of the gospels any day... (that pretty much comes with the territory when you are a researcher).
Anyhow, loads and loads and loads of arguments about the whole religion/ atheism debate abound, and I don't really want to get into them here. People have largely made their minds up, and I'm not trying to make anyone change what they believe (which is why I get so annoyed at religious door knockers coming to my home and trying to change my mind). In any case, (a) the God Delusion and (b) the Origin of the Species make the arguments for atheism/ evolution (and anti organised religion/ creationism) better then I ever could. But anyhow. I have some marketing advice for religions and the religious. Hummus.
Yep. Hummus.
Don't look so surprised! Everyone *knows* hummus is *amazing*. In fact, I was thinking just the other day that hummus may well be the greatest thing ever invented. Sod fire, sod the wheel and sod sliced bread[see note 1 below], hummus beats it all. Hummus is indescribably *brilliant*.
So how does this relate to the better marketing of religion? It's simple really; in heaven, don't promise 72 virgins, don't promise ambrosia, don't promise angels on white clouds, promise this. A sea of hummus with warm-toasted-pitta-bread-islands. Easy.
*** Note 1: The saying "the best thing since sliced bread" is perhaps the most stupid sentence in the history of humankind. Why? Well if someone says "get some *nice bread* in for tea/ supper" (delete according to socio-economic class ;-) ) they don't mean for you to get a loaf of Mighty White, they mean a nice big crusty *uncut* loaf that you can carve huge wedges out of. So, "the best thing since sliced bread" actually means "the best thing since someone went and cocked up something that used to be awesome and replaced it with something decidedly average". Sliced bread is to food what Fonzy jumping the shark is to TV, in other words.
Enough!
Onwards!
Levin
Anyhow, loads and loads and loads of arguments about the whole religion/ atheism debate abound, and I don't really want to get into them here. People have largely made their minds up, and I'm not trying to make anyone change what they believe (which is why I get so annoyed at religious door knockers coming to my home and trying to change my mind). In any case, (a) the God Delusion and (b) the Origin of the Species make the arguments for atheism/ evolution (and anti organised religion/ creationism) better then I ever could. But anyhow. I have some marketing advice for religions and the religious. Hummus.
Yep. Hummus.
Don't look so surprised! Everyone *knows* hummus is *amazing*. In fact, I was thinking just the other day that hummus may well be the greatest thing ever invented. Sod fire, sod the wheel and sod sliced bread[see note 1 below], hummus beats it all. Hummus is indescribably *brilliant*.
So how does this relate to the better marketing of religion? It's simple really; in heaven, don't promise 72 virgins, don't promise ambrosia, don't promise angels on white clouds, promise this. A sea of hummus with warm-toasted-pitta-bread-islands. Easy.
*** Note 1: The saying "the best thing since sliced bread" is perhaps the most stupid sentence in the history of humankind. Why? Well if someone says "get some *nice bread* in for tea/ supper" (delete according to socio-economic class ;-) ) they don't mean for you to get a loaf of Mighty White, they mean a nice big crusty *uncut* loaf that you can carve huge wedges out of. So, "the best thing since sliced bread" actually means "the best thing since someone went and cocked up something that used to be awesome and replaced it with something decidedly average". Sliced bread is to food what Fonzy jumping the shark is to TV, in other words.
Enough!
Onwards!
Levin
Monday 2 August 2010
Inherited stupidity...
Some of the really stupid things prior owners of my house have done:
1. Removed the period features in some - but not all - of the rooms.
It wasn't enough to remove the nice period features, no... this act of idiotic cultural barbarism had to be done in an inconsistent and basically random manner...
2. Putting patterned and textured wallpaper - on the ceiling.
In what universe could that ever make sense? Oh, the 1970s? Well it seems to me the 1970s has some apologising to do... if only for making the 1980s possible...
3. Fitting the kitchen sink so low it blocks the stop tap.
Yep. If you want to turn the water supply to the washing machine off, then you need to take the sink out of the kitchen worktop. Brilliant.
4. Building a fake 'wall' out of relatively flimsy wood in the bathroom. Next to the shower head. Then tiling over it and - one can only assume - hoping the magic water-vapour-fairies* stop the wood ever getting damp.
Idiots.
5. Putting big slabs of asbestos on the shed roof. Correction: on two-thirds of the shed roof...
The inconsistency is what drives me mad! If you're going to put/ leave asbestos on something, why put/ leave it on two-thirds of it?!?!
Any tales of inherited stupidity you care to share?**
Onwards!
Levin
*There's no such thing as magic water-vapour-fairies. Sorry to disappoint.
**You lose points for the answer "The Presidency of George W Bush". Too obvious.
1. Removed the period features in some - but not all - of the rooms.
It wasn't enough to remove the nice period features, no... this act of idiotic cultural barbarism had to be done in an inconsistent and basically random manner...
2. Putting patterned and textured wallpaper - on the ceiling.
In what universe could that ever make sense? Oh, the 1970s? Well it seems to me the 1970s has some apologising to do... if only for making the 1980s possible...
3. Fitting the kitchen sink so low it blocks the stop tap.
Yep. If you want to turn the water supply to the washing machine off, then you need to take the sink out of the kitchen worktop. Brilliant.
4. Building a fake 'wall' out of relatively flimsy wood in the bathroom. Next to the shower head. Then tiling over it and - one can only assume - hoping the magic water-vapour-fairies* stop the wood ever getting damp.
Idiots.
5. Putting big slabs of asbestos on the shed roof. Correction: on two-thirds of the shed roof...
The inconsistency is what drives me mad! If you're going to put/ leave asbestos on something, why put/ leave it on two-thirds of it?!?!
Any tales of inherited stupidity you care to share?**
Onwards!
Levin
*There's no such thing as magic water-vapour-fairies. Sorry to disappoint.
**You lose points for the answer "The Presidency of George W Bush". Too obvious.
Wednesday 28 July 2010
Musical Musings
I love me some music, yes indeedlydoo. I don’t listen to new stuff anywhere near as much as I should though. This is largely due to shoddy updating of my digital music (I am old school, and still buy CDs – so sue me (NB this is not an actual invitation to actually sue me. I also would imagine your grounds for doing so would be more than a little dubious)). So it was pretty good a week or so ago when I got hold of (and subsequently placed in my CD player (and pressed play, you bloody pedant)) the ‘new’ albums by Broken Bells and The XX. Both of them are much goodness. In fact, I would say The XX album is the best début I’ve heard since the Strokes’ ‘Is This It’ back in 2001.
Broken Bells are Dangermouse (not the cartoon character, the renowned producer) and the singer from The Shins. The Shins are good, by the way, as are actual, real, physical shins. Physical shins are sometimes underrated, I feel. Celebrate your shins. They are now officially body part of the day. Well done, shins. We will celebrate with a concert by The Shins (NB – we won’t).
The XX (or is it ‘the xx’, or ‘The xx’? It really is far from clear, and frankly, not exactly important (I have now just checked on Wikipedia, and it appears to be ‘The xx’, which I must admit somehow offends my slightly anal sense of order. I think it should be ‘The XX’. Capitals are innately more satisfying. (Oops, I’ve done the brackets-in-brackets thing again, bad me))). (Returning to the point) ThE xX (hell, lets go upper-or-lower-case-crazy!) are concerned, I feel like I am coming to the party a bit late, with my first listens to the album (imaginatively titled, ‘xx’ (yes, actually ‘xx’, though it should of course be ‘Xx’ – capitals, dear boy) being a few days before they got a Mercury nomination. I will now be shunned by all the cool indie kids (I am 30 years old and should not be hanging with the kids – further proof of this being that I just used the phrase ‘hanging with the kids’. Twice).
I remember before I went to University how important music was to me, and how every spare penny would go on the latest CD by whoever (yeah, well done the younger me, getting much use out of the second ‘Space’ album these days, are you? (N.B. The first one is, I maintain, still a slice of quirky-pop gold)). Point is, those days when you would argue about someone’s music taste and who was good and ‘rubbish’ seem so long ago. I can’t keep up anymore. It’s a young man/ woman's game. And I’m only 30. But then, I don’t want to be one of those people who are old enough to know better still reading the NME, do I?
In summary: Broken Bells and The xx are goodness. I should listen to more new music. I also need to spend a weekend digitising loads of my more recent CD purchases (but then I would have to use iTunes - urgh...).
Onwards!
Levin
Broken Bells are Dangermouse (not the cartoon character, the renowned producer) and the singer from The Shins. The Shins are good, by the way, as are actual, real, physical shins. Physical shins are sometimes underrated, I feel. Celebrate your shins. They are now officially body part of the day. Well done, shins. We will celebrate with a concert by The Shins (NB – we won’t).
The XX (or is it ‘the xx’, or ‘The xx’? It really is far from clear, and frankly, not exactly important (I have now just checked on Wikipedia, and it appears to be ‘The xx’, which I must admit somehow offends my slightly anal sense of order. I think it should be ‘The XX’. Capitals are innately more satisfying. (Oops, I’ve done the brackets-in-brackets thing again, bad me))). (Returning to the point) ThE xX (hell, lets go upper-or-lower-case-crazy!) are concerned, I feel like I am coming to the party a bit late, with my first listens to the album (imaginatively titled, ‘xx’ (yes, actually ‘xx’, though it should of course be ‘Xx’ – capitals, dear boy) being a few days before they got a Mercury nomination. I will now be shunned by all the cool indie kids (I am 30 years old and should not be hanging with the kids – further proof of this being that I just used the phrase ‘hanging with the kids’. Twice).
I remember before I went to University how important music was to me, and how every spare penny would go on the latest CD by whoever (yeah, well done the younger me, getting much use out of the second ‘Space’ album these days, are you? (N.B. The first one is, I maintain, still a slice of quirky-pop gold)). Point is, those days when you would argue about someone’s music taste and who was good and ‘rubbish’ seem so long ago. I can’t keep up anymore. It’s a young man/ woman's game. And I’m only 30. But then, I don’t want to be one of those people who are old enough to know better still reading the NME, do I?
In summary: Broken Bells and The xx are goodness. I should listen to more new music. I also need to spend a weekend digitising loads of my more recent CD purchases (but then I would have to use iTunes - urgh...).
Onwards!
Levin
Friday 23 July 2010
Twenty miles!
I may well be everso slightly insane.
20 miles is a long way, isn't it... Yeah... And I have only gone and agreed to walk 20 miles. At night. In London. In September. It's another charity walk, and its for a cracking cause. But 20 miles! Blimey! That's a long old slog... at night! Madness! So who is it for I hear you ask, my dear reader, well... Maggie's Cancer Caring Centres (see www.maggiescentres.org) - and this is what they do:
A Maggie’s Centre is a place to turn to for help with any of the problems, small or large, associated with cancer. Under one roof you can access help with information, benefits advice, psychological support both individually and in groups, courses and stress reducing strategies. You don’t have to make an appointment, or be referred and everything we offer is free of charge.
As you can see. it's really really important stuff and almost certainly (*aside* most certainly certainly) worth walking 20 miles for (20 bloody miles! Argh! Hurty feet ahoy!). Centres like this are an amazing service to offer people when they are in need, and I am sure it is something everyone can relate to. Doubtless I will do some sponsorship bothering at some point soon (you have been warned). In the meantime I have two 'training walks' of about 12 miles each to worry about in the next few weeks - ARGH!
On another tangent altogether, I have a top weekend ahead, with a BBQ at Clare and Mikes, and a visit from Claudia and James, who I have not seen since Jess and I got married. Looking forward to it very much. WIN!
Onwards!
Levin
20 miles is a long way, isn't it... Yeah... And I have only gone and agreed to walk 20 miles. At night. In London. In September. It's another charity walk, and its for a cracking cause. But 20 miles! Blimey! That's a long old slog... at night! Madness! So who is it for I hear you ask, my dear reader, well... Maggie's Cancer Caring Centres (see www.maggiescentres.org) - and this is what they do:
A Maggie’s Centre is a place to turn to for help with any of the problems, small or large, associated with cancer. Under one roof you can access help with information, benefits advice, psychological support both individually and in groups, courses and stress reducing strategies. You don’t have to make an appointment, or be referred and everything we offer is free of charge.
As you can see. it's really really important stuff and almost certainly (*aside* most certainly certainly) worth walking 20 miles for (20 bloody miles! Argh! Hurty feet ahoy!). Centres like this are an amazing service to offer people when they are in need, and I am sure it is something everyone can relate to. Doubtless I will do some sponsorship bothering at some point soon (you have been warned). In the meantime I have two 'training walks' of about 12 miles each to worry about in the next few weeks - ARGH!
On another tangent altogether, I have a top weekend ahead, with a BBQ at Clare and Mikes, and a visit from Claudia and James, who I have not seen since Jess and I got married. Looking forward to it very much. WIN!
Onwards!
Levin
Thursday 22 July 2010
Power Monkey!
A conversation this morning, as Jess was struggling to wake up:
Me: Time for your shower, monkey...
Fuzzy-headed Jess: I am the 'Power Monkey'?!?!
Me: Erm...
Fuzzy headed Jess: Ooh ooh ah! Ah!
[monkey noises are much less satisfying when typed, I am sure you'll agree]
Me: Erm...
My wife is 29 years old.
She is also, evidently, a comic genius. And wonderful.
Onwards!
Levin
Me: Time for your shower, monkey...
Fuzzy-headed Jess: I am the 'Power Monkey'?!?!
Me: Erm...
Fuzzy headed Jess: Ooh ooh ah! Ah!
[monkey noises are much less satisfying when typed, I am sure you'll agree]
Me: Erm...
My wife is 29 years old.
She is also, evidently, a comic genius. And wonderful.
Onwards!
Levin
Wednesday 21 July 2010
A bit of perspective...
Right, so, you’re meant to post on these things kind of regularly aren’t you…? Oops! (DANGER! I almost wrote the last sentence as ‘kind of regular’, before realising I am not American and therefore attempting to deconstruct the proper use of the English language via laziness (NB. This comment does not apply to all Americans, that would be a lazy generalisation, and I have just been protesting about laziness, and I don’t want to look like a massive hypocrite (Wow! Three sets of brackets in row who would have thought it possible?)))
Anyhoo… Jess and I have been rather busy making the house a bit less of a mess after pretty much a whole month where every spare minute has been spent in (a) the noble pursuit of sorting out the garden (some of you lucky folks will be familiar with the excitement of the #fenceweek and #slabsaturday tags on twitter) and (b) the slightly-less-noble-but-perfectly-valid-pursuit of watching a ridiculous amount of Battlestar Galactica.
To make up for my shoddy lack of posting, I should probably summarise events in the form of ‘a handy list’™ (imagine if you could actually trademark ‘handy lists’, licensing them would make you a fortune – brilliant! I may have just worked out a way to halve the deficit in four years…). However, there’s only one thing I really want to post about, so maybe you’ll get a list next time…
CRY 'London Bridges' Charity Walk 2010
On Sunday 18th July I was one of around 800 people walking along and (repeatedly!) across the Thames for the annual CRY (Cardiac Risk in the Young) 'Heart of London Bridges' Charity Walk. CRY was founded in 1995 to raise awareness of conditions that can lead to Sudden Cardiac Death (SCD); Sudden Death Syndrome (SDS, SADS). It works to encouraging greater testing of the young for a range of genetic heart conditions. There were 34 of us walking in memory of Luke Meekings, who I can still remember occasionally babysitting when he was all of 11 years old. He died just over two years ago in his mid 20s from SADS and is missed by many. It’s pretty humbling to see groups of people around you walking in memory of their grandchildren, or their sons (the conditions overwhelmingly affect men). People younger than me who just suddenly went, with no warning at all… Rather puts into perspective me moaning about not having a lot of time as I've been building a fence...
If you’ve got a few quid spare, you can donate to this excellent and worthwhile cause via: http://www.c-r-y.org.uk/
Will post again soon...
Onwards!
Levin
Anyhoo… Jess and I have been rather busy making the house a bit less of a mess after pretty much a whole month where every spare minute has been spent in (a) the noble pursuit of sorting out the garden (some of you lucky folks will be familiar with the excitement of the #fenceweek and #slabsaturday tags on twitter) and (b) the slightly-less-noble-but-perfectly-valid-pursuit of watching a ridiculous amount of Battlestar Galactica.
To make up for my shoddy lack of posting, I should probably summarise events in the form of ‘a handy list’™ (imagine if you could actually trademark ‘handy lists’, licensing them would make you a fortune – brilliant! I may have just worked out a way to halve the deficit in four years…). However, there’s only one thing I really want to post about, so maybe you’ll get a list next time…
CRY 'London Bridges' Charity Walk 2010
On Sunday 18th July I was one of around 800 people walking along and (repeatedly!) across the Thames for the annual CRY (Cardiac Risk in the Young) 'Heart of London Bridges' Charity Walk. CRY was founded in 1995 to raise awareness of conditions that can lead to Sudden Cardiac Death (SCD); Sudden Death Syndrome (SDS, SADS). It works to encouraging greater testing of the young for a range of genetic heart conditions. There were 34 of us walking in memory of Luke Meekings, who I can still remember occasionally babysitting when he was all of 11 years old. He died just over two years ago in his mid 20s from SADS and is missed by many. It’s pretty humbling to see groups of people around you walking in memory of their grandchildren, or their sons (the conditions overwhelmingly affect men). People younger than me who just suddenly went, with no warning at all… Rather puts into perspective me moaning about not having a lot of time as I've been building a fence...
If you’ve got a few quid spare, you can donate to this excellent and worthwhile cause via: http://www.c-r-y.org.uk/
Will post again soon...
Onwards!
Levin
Thursday 15 July 2010
First post...
Howdy.
This'll be my first blog post, then. I keep thinking I should do one, and well, I never do. So now I have. The list below is inspired by a 'project' Jess (my wife) and I are going to try to do, along with my best mate, Pat. The idea is to try random creative things and see how it turns out. Some of the list ended up being quite funny (at least according to Jess and Pat), so I thought I would set up a blog and write a post, and hopefully I will keep it up!
10 things I noticed from my desk at work that I hadn't really thought about before:
1. There’s always a cardboard box on top of the recycling bin near me. Always. It’s not always the *same* box, but it is as if there is some kind of box-recycling-bin-timeshare going on. Maybe they swap out at weekly intervals. Is there a HP inkjet cartridge/ toner box that used to be on this recycle bin sunning itself in an office in the med as I type? Maybe.
2. There’s still tinsel from last Xmas in the bottom of our stationary cupboard. There are turquoise and silver strands coiled up like tinsel snakes kipping after an all nighter at a tinsel-disco, or something.
3. The largest stapler I have ever actually seen - I mean it is MASSIVE - is on top of the stationary cupboard. From where I sit it looks dubiously (and intimidatingly!) phallic.
4. I still have an invite to an ACC’s leaving party wedged into the partition on my desk near the wall. It still has his handwritten post it note telling me ‘it should be a lively one’. Graham Hooper was his name, and his good humour is sorely missed.
5. Surrey Police feel it necessary to print in BIG RED LETTERS that a business card IS NOT A PROOF OF IDENTITY. Odd, I got through customs fine last time with mine (
This'll be my first blog post, then. I keep thinking I should do one, and well, I never do. So now I have. The list below is inspired by a 'project' Jess (my wife) and I are going to try to do, along with my best mate, Pat. The idea is to try random creative things and see how it turns out. Some of the list ended up being quite funny (at least according to Jess and Pat), so I thought I would set up a blog and write a post, and hopefully I will keep it up!
10 things I noticed from my desk at work that I hadn't really thought about before:
1. There’s always a cardboard box on top of the recycling bin near me. Always. It’s not always the *same* box, but it is as if there is some kind of box-recycling-bin-timeshare going on. Maybe they swap out at weekly intervals. Is there a HP inkjet cartridge/ toner box that used to be on this recycle bin sunning itself in an office in the med as I type? Maybe.
2. There’s still tinsel from last Xmas in the bottom of our stationary cupboard. There are turquoise and silver strands coiled up like tinsel snakes kipping after an all nighter at a tinsel-disco, or something.
3. The largest stapler I have ever actually seen - I mean it is MASSIVE - is on top of the stationary cupboard. From where I sit it looks dubiously (and intimidatingly!) phallic.
4. I still have an invite to an ACC’s leaving party wedged into the partition on my desk near the wall. It still has his handwritten post it note telling me ‘it should be a lively one’. Graham Hooper was his name, and his good humour is sorely missed.
5. Surrey Police feel it necessary to print in BIG RED LETTERS that a business card IS NOT A PROOF OF IDENTITY. Odd, I got through customs fine last time with mine (
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